Who's The Boss?

Should companies promote charitable giving?

My spouse called me from his office on Monday to tell me to arrange for a sitter (aka Grandpa) to watch our son on Thursday night. He was just invited to a wine tasting event where some of his company’s executives would be attending. I could tell that he was excited at the opportunity and anxious that his individual contributor title would interfere in networking with Senior Directors and Vice Presidents. While one of my strengths is being able to work a room and make lots of small talk, my spouse is more likely to find one person and hold 'em hostage for a night talking about the same topic. I made the arrangements, put on a new dress, and was prepared to play the role of the supportive wife.

Last night, we showed up a local hotel to mingle with influential people in his company. Imagine our surprise when we walked into a charity event with a live auction, silent auction, and goal of raising more than ten thousand dollars for the cause. I turned to my spouse and whispered “Awkward.”

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Granny panties

In a crowded restroom...

"Mom, why does your underwear go so high."

"Because I like it that way."

"You want your belly button covered?"

"Yes.  Now sshhh."

"Are you afraid that people are going to poke your belly button?"

"No, Darius.  I'm quite certain that no one is going to poke my belly button."

"Well I think you have some growing up to do, Mom.  Your undies are WAY TOO BIG."

Happy Halloween

About 3 years ago, when Darius was around 2, we decided to begin hosting an annual Pumpkin Carving Party. When D was little, he wouldn't go near the inside of the pumpkin.  This year, he lasted about 5 minutes before he went inside to play with my God-daughter, Bella.  So if the past is any prediction to the future, he'll carve his own pumpkin when he's 23.

I know, you are all thinking that Ya-Ya carved this one of Yoda. This one is all me, thankyouverymuch.  And I managed to do this without swearing once or totally losing my cool, so I say that clearly I'm the winner!  Take that, Ya-Ya.

Neville, who I love to tease for never really getting a "real childhood" carved the first pumpkin of his entire life. It's the little one on the left.  The one that Darius was supposed to carve himself.  That was before Darius realized thast Ya-Ya could do a way better job than he could so he left it to the professional.  Which basically sums up every art project in my entire life.  What's that old saying "Those who can can, those who can't teach."  All my life it's basically been "Those who can't, call Ya-Ya."

There's no Halloween Fairy in this house

When I was a kid, my brother and I would Trick or Treat on Halloween for hours.  I can’t ever remember my parents setting a curfew – they must’ve known that we couldn’t stay out much past 9pm.  We'd go in a little tribe of neighborhood children, often unsupervised, to canvas the streets for the best Halloween candy.  My parents only had two rules: never go inside someone’s house and don’t eat any candy that is unwrapped. 

I was a picky eater so many of the chocolate covered candy bars would go into my reject-pile, much to the delight of my chocolate-loving parents.  My parents let us eat to our heart’s desire on Halloween night.  For the rest of the week, my mom would pack a candy or two in our school lunches. And then one day when we came from home from school asking if we could eat another piece of candy, my mother would simply reply “There’s none left; you ate it all.”

I can’t remember if we ever questioned our mom about the mysterious and sudden disappearance of the candy bag.  All I know for sure is that there was no more candy.  Where it went, I’ll never know.

I'm over the Mommy Wars

Don’t tell me you have it harder. Or better. Or that you had no choice. Or that you sacrificed. Don’t tell me you’re a working mom or a stay at home one. Frankly, I just don’t care anymore. I’m over it. “It” being the debate in the Mommy Wars.

Opt-in to Motherhood. Opt-out of Work. Opt to whatever works for your family. On-ramp! Off-ramp! On-board! Oh my!

I don’t care. I won’t judge you. We can be friends no matter which side of the aisle you are on. It’s time for bi-partisan mommy peace talks.

Tell me you’re unhappy. Sometimes, I’m unhappy too. Tell me it was the best decision. It’s worked out great for me as well. Tell me you have regrets. Doesn’t that come with the job? (no pun intended).

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My child is getting the H1N1 vaccine, why isn't yours?

I wouldn’t consider myself pro-vaccine.  Sure, my son was stuck in his chubby little thigh right on schedule.  But, honestly, I never considered any other options.  If The Vaccine Book had come out while I was pregnant, I would have chosen to slow-vax my son.  He’d eventually got all his shots, but it wouldn’t have been at 3-5 in one sitting.  Instead the book arrived in stores when I was a mother to a toddler who was already more than half way through the rigors of inoculations.  While it certainly made me feel better about the choice we made to vaccinate accordingly to the traditional schedule, it also made me realize that I probably should have done a lot more research before I blindly trusted my pediatrician. 

Considering that I vaccinated my son against many life-threatening illnesses… illnesses that killed some of my own ancestry when they were children, I never understood why I took such a hard stance against the flu shot.  I’ve, personally, only received the seasonal flu shot twice in my life.  The year I was pregnant and the year I was a mother to a newborn.  My son Darius had the flu shot only once when he was 6 months old.  I didn’t even bother to take in him for the recommended second dose hoping that my continued breastfeeding during the flu season would keep him safe.

Yet nearly five years after his one and only flu shot, I am pulling my son out of school 30 minutes early to drive to our pediatrician’s office to get the H1N1 vaccine. 

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Boys will be boys

On Friday, I found out that I have a “rough kid.”

We had our first Parent-Teacher Conference on Friday.  While the teachers said lovely things about my clearly brilliant child (wink, wink), they wrote on his assessment that he was “too rough” on the playground.

My kid?  Darius?  Sweet Darius?  He’s a rough kid? Really?

I’m not buying it.

I don’t have a rough kid.  I have a fair kid.  A sensitive kid.  A kid who sticks up for his friends.  Who shares.  A kid who has one very active imagination. A kid who is extremely active.  Who can take a two-mile bike ride without complaining.  Who can run non-stop during school recess and not get tired.

In other words, I have a boy. I typical five year old boy. And it’s becoming more clear to me as he grows that schools just don’t know how to deal with boys.

I'm so much better than a soccer mom, I'm a football one

If I think really long and hard about it, I may be able to recollect watching football 30 times over my lifetime.  Half of those include going to highschool games where I was more likely to be watching a boy I had a crush on than the actual game.  The other half include watching the Super Bowl where I was more likely to be interested in the commercials than the score.  I'm not even sure I could name more than six teams and two of them are in the Bay Area. 

In other words, I'm not a fan of football.

Go ahead, throw stones.  Tell me I'm unAmerican.  I fully acknowledge I'm a loser.  But I grew up with a band-geek brother.  I never tried out for cheerleading.  My dad was more inclined to make a mixed tape than watch a game on Sunday.  And I didn't grow up in Small Town USA or Texas where I'm pretty sure that football is taught in school next to religion.

Second Harvest Food Bank

Every year my company holds a Volunteer Week.  The company does a fantastic job of proactively identifying volunteer opportunities throughout the year for those who are civic-service minded.  But then in late September, they do a big push to get every employee across the nation to volunteer in their community. There’s an entire website to connect volunteers with projects .  In the Bay Area alone, there were over 25 projects for employees to sign-up.

I picked the one closest to my home.  I’ll admit that I was a little disappointed that it meant that I’d lose three hours on a Saturday morning.  Yes, I was being selfish with my time.  I’m a busy working mom with weekends that can be more stressful than my meeting schedule.  I’d much rather have found a community service project that was in the morning during the week… might as well kill two birds with one stone and get a break from work while serving my community.  But alas, I picked convenience of the local over my desire to play hooky at work.

And on last Saturday, I showed up to the Second Harvest Food Bank with 20 other employees of my company to bag produce for needy families in my community.

Continue reading at the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog

We did it!

Technically, he did all the work. But I can't stop myself from feeling like we both accomplished this.